Luke 11:35

Should I write this poetically or straight-out ---- right to the point?

Tearing through this jungle, the tangled mess of everything I thought maybe could be and maybe was, but really wasn't.

What really wasn't at all.

It all seemed alive for Him. It all seemed so passionate. It all seemed so full of life and vibrancy.

I looked beneath the surface of what appeared to be beautiful flowers and an array of light.

But at the roots of it was something more fierce and destructive than I could have ever imagined.

And yet so tangled and so thorny was the briar patch below those blossoms and blooms. I never knew...though it wounded me time after time as I ran after that which I thought was real. Never once catching up to it. Always falling behind and falling short.

How foolish I felt. How angry and bitter at what I allowed to drive me for so long.

Chasing after emotional high after emotional high...what was labeled as a phrase I now despise.

And yet I shouldn't.

But I have been ruined. I have been gutted from the inside out of the faith that I once thought was mine.

And what I thought was light, was really darkness.