Wednesday, April 16, 2014

From April 4

This summer, I recall it being exceedingly lonely. The days were hot, they were long, and they were saturated in a distinct and wearying heaviness.

I can not believe the amount of pain and confusion I waded through. All the while, working to earn my Master's degree. Learning to research. Learning so much.

Learning so much about myself. About my own resilience. My own perseverance. My own tenacity.

And the goodness of God...the Eternal kindness and comfort of God...And the hope that endures in the midst of such great darkness. I see it in my writings. My refusal to give up hope. And His Grace to uphold me in the midst of such great darkness, such great, deep pain.

Such loneliness. Such isolation. And then, a friend. A church. Many friends. A prayer answered. A prayer answered in waves and in so many ways...so many facets of that prayer answered. Such kindness...

I am overwhelmed by His Kindness. God is a Good, Good God. His Kindness abounds. And as these years have delivered tragedy. As the pain has surmounted and the sorrow and grief has cascaded as a rain so torrential...

The depth of that great Kindness, that Eternal Kindness, I have known to the very depths of my sorrow.

And He is Good. He is my Friend. He leads me onward. He leads me on. He cares for me. He holds me. He holds me by the hand...

and leads me on.

And I am astounded. By His Sweetness. Kindness. Grace. Holiness.